Is there something that you'd like to do to take action about that situation you can't stop thinking about? Confronting the person who you had the conflict with? Calling the person back who asked you out on a date? Write out your action plan. What can you do? Instead of rehearsing, regurgitating, replaying experiences, make a plan. I don't think we'd worry about spending too much time being introspective, but when it comes to ruminating-if someone showed us the exit-we'd take it! The wheels are turning but you're not getting anywhere-other than frustrated or depressed or angry. Introspection is about growth, we look inward in order to learn. Introverts need quiet to think their thoughts, because they often are more sensitive to everything around them, they need that downtime, without interruption and input from the outside world, to process the stuff of the day-the interactions, their reactions to them, and simply to think their thoughts. Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., Worry Wise blog, author, Freeing Yourself from Anxiety: 4 Simple Steps to Overcome Worry and Create the Life You Want. In this way, we give our lives meaning and direction without falling victim to our inner critic, which holds us back and keeps us from achieving our goals. We can then think about what we want to challenge in ourselves and how we want to differentiate from negative past influences. When we do take time to be introspective, we must adopt an attitude Siegel describes as curious, open, accepting, and loving (COAL). There are seven other activities on the Healthy Mind Platter that are far more favorable when in this state, including play time, physical time, and connecting time. When we are in the point of view of our anti-self, experiencing thoughts that focus on ourselves as “bad,” we must avoid ruminating. When we are in the realistic point of view of our “real self,” we can have positive self-reflection. This type of thinking has a strong link to depression and suicide. Rumination occurs when you become trapped in this negative cycle of circular thinking. This inner critic, referred to by my father, psychologist Robert Firestone, as the “anti-self" or the “ critical inner voice” can take over our thinking and lead to rumination. Every person is divided between a healthy attitude toward themselves that is goal-directed and life-affirming, and a destructive side of themselves that can be self-critical, self-denying, paranoid, and suspicious. The problem is that your mind is not always a safe place. Siegel recommends “time in” as one of seven suggested activities on his “Healthy Mind Platter.” Daniel Siegel describes time reflecting on yourself as “time in,” a period in which a person checks in with themselves to see where they’re at emotionally. Neuroscientist and mindfulness expert, Dr. Introspection can be a process of healthy self-reflection, examination, and exploration, which is good for your well-being and your brain. Time spent alone in thought can be positive-a rich environment for personal growth and creativity, but it can also be dangerous when we are negatively turned against ourselves. There is an important difference between introspection and rumination. Lisa Firestone, Ph.D., Compassion Matters blog and author, with Robert Firestone and Joyce Catlett, of The Self under Siege.
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